youths.

I’ve known many people in their twenties that want to rush through them to get to a more confident place. Hell, at one point I was one of them. But I find this funny.  ‘Cause everyone else seems to be obsessed with young people. Obvious examples: Olympics, Hollywood. 

Even in more “normal life,” I hear wind of this quite a bit.  I’ll pass tables all the time in the restaurant I work in, of middle aged people discussing cool spots and describing them as where “all the young people go.” Across the board, families consistently remain uber excited about where high school or college graduates choose to go or do next, even if it’s their third cousin’s daughter. I have yet to counsel a single high school student who doesn’t have people invested in their post-grad choices. 

Being aware of this made me scared to turn 30. But I’ve come to realize that “youth” is not a number. It’s a mindset.

When I started noticing (and plucking)  grey hair, it was around the same exact time I turned 30. Perhaps it was self-induced. The idea of throwing a big party to celebrate myself, when I’d internally be mourning my twenties freaked me out to no end. 

It wasn’t that I was scared of being perceived as thirty (I’ve looked young all my life and will dye my hair if it comes to that). It’s that I didn’t want to have it be a secret I either choose to divulge or not. 

Exhibit A: working in the restaurants. I choose to work an assistant based position rather than a lead position so I can balance it with churning out three novels and being a counselor to two high schools and a middle school. But to be an older age in a “younger seeming” position can be cringe. No one expects me to be thirty but people love to ask the age question. And gossip spreads like wildfire in a kitchen. 

So do I lie? Tell the truth and face repercussions?

It’s something I’m still grappling with. Feel free to give advice that I may or may not take. 

I am a youthful rebel after all. Who happens to be in their thirties. 🤷‍♀️

oh where does the time go?