Ode to Ayesha

A

On my mind you will stay

I can’t hide

From the pain

So Ill linger

In the zen

You took me to places I’d never been

Remember when we hopped the fence?

It was thrice our size

with nothing to grip

Still

we climbed it 

Hand in hand

to access

the off limits sand

We found a stingray 

You wanted to show to Rye

A man you loved

But later made you cry

You were so alive

Before he died

Remember when I made you coffee every day

Using your nut mylk

An unspoken trade

Iced in a rocks glass

not meant for the chefs

But what I wouldn’t have done to impress

Eventually you’d hunger for chatter and grub

When J and I went to bed

you’d stay up

Made me drawings that I still keep 

Over my head as I sleep

Remember when people talked shit about you in Spanish

Not knowing that you knew the language?

You were one of the smartest people I knew

They were wrong

to typecast you

Seeing you was my favorite way to start and end a day

Who needs breakfast

Or a nightcap

If you were there to stay

Remember all those times we went to Drink

We just wanted to hang

But man did it cause a stink

One guy fired

Two girls blamed

God, sometimes I wish time

could be rearranged

If memories can live forever than I guess you never died

All those tears can just be

uncried

I was never alone in my room

dying inside

We could go back to that very first day

Before a smooth talking boi got in our way

When It was just you and me

In joy

and misery.

You wanted me to cut the string on your stitches

I didn’t break skin

I thought I could mend your soul from within 

I’m an early rising girl

But you liked to hang at night

I slept through those mornings

clutching my pillow tight

Mariel’s piña coladas contained ground up espresso

I don’t like caffeine before bed

I chose to stick with you instead

I’d follow you anywhere

Except for the dead.

I stayed

and I watched

Your death blow smoke around the nation

The girl they never let work the meat station

You could say Menton picked up some bad press

Trauma bonded

we carried on

under duress

I shaved truffle

with your memory repressed

Now it’s to come clean

About this mess in my head

Say thank you to the forces that brought you to me

A darkness so sweet

But also so sour

I was drawn like a bee

to a radiant flower